cognitived | mental link;

[ Sam's not necessarily a mess after he comes back from talking with Steve and Bucky, but he's not holding together as well as he had before. It'd been exhausting trying to keep his and Bucky's emotions regulated, to extend his support out without forcing calm on Bucky or accidentally bleeding his own shit out on him.

But honestly, he's pretty sure that wouldn't have taken a toll on him near as much if it wasn't for what was going on with Steve. Nothing's changed there any more than it had before he'd gone to check in with them, and he's very carefully not dealing with how it felt to have his best friend look at him like a stranger. To know that he's not gonna be welcome at Steve's side, that Steve's not gonna have his back like they've done for more than two years.

It's eating at him, and he doesn't have a damn clue what to do about it.

Sam's still trying to keep himself on lockdown, but man after that, he's itching for a break so he can relax. Unfortunately, it's not like there's anywhere he can really relax enough, to not have to worry about one of the other Hosts picking up on more of him than he wants to give.

Which is why he's not actually at the Bearings at the moment, he's just kind of... circling around it. But even with that, as soon as Clint's in range, close enough to feel him through the mental link - Sam’s mind reaches out without him even realizing it. A quiet brush against his, a nudge that's closer to hey than anything else. ]

[ Briefly, the link between Bellamy and his broodmates sparks to life. Bellamy floods the link with disbelief, which gives way to crippling grief and anger. His thoughts skip through an assortment of faces, linger on Clarke Griffin and Octavia Blake before Bellamy forcibly breaks contact.

No apologies for the interruption. ]

[ Something's been up with Sam for a while now. A background hum, something he hasn't let Clint see, not really. For those of the Hive used to the sharing of minds, to the unity of beings, it might seem like omission.

It isn't.

Clint might not know what Sam's thinking, but he's known the man for years now, worked with him off and on for a good chunk of it. The last few months -- well they've simply added to that. But more importantly, Clint was there. He was there that first moment they woke up with Barnes, and the moment they saw Steve, young and thin, bird-boned. So yeah, he might not know, but he's put together awareness with far less information.

So now, Sam's mind reaches out, gentle like the lap of wave to shore, and Clint's tuning in almost before he realizes it. It's easy, now, even if there's still a low current of unease that filters through Clint at this sort of connection. Nothing he won't force himself through, eventually. But for now, Sam aches with exhaustion, a soft grief buried in the thread of his mind. It's enough. Clint lets him in, the petals of his mind unfurling for the sun, and steadies himself. Softly, a hey returned, even as he laces a c'mere through it. Soft, but it's not really gentle. Sam doesn't need kid gloves. ]

[ There’s a flash of guilt as he picks up that hint of unease.

It’s become automatic, almost, for his mind to brush against Clint’s when they’re close enough together, checking in. He’d wonder when that happened, except part of him thinks it was that night they fought off a panic attack together, or even before that - back when they were in the Raft, when all they really had was checking in with each other.

It doesn’t really matter, though, not when it’s so easy now. It’s a comfort, even if Sam’s uncomfortable with the idea as it applies to almost anyone else, even if he knows Clint’s not happy about it. Sam’d find a way to stop it if Clint asked him to, or if it became obvious that it was too much for Clint. He doesn’t think Clint would hide it from him if he felt that uncomfortable with it - though he probably could, because Sam tries hard not to pry too much.

But there's a surge of relief and gratitude when Clint beckons him closer, when he doesn't tiptoe around it. Neither of them are the kind that need to be treated with kid gloves.

So he heads back to their room, dropping himself down into a chair. ]

I don't think that was as much of a shit show as it could have been.

[ Since they first arrived on this planet, things have been unsettling. Between Steve not knowing him and Barnes's everything, the whole Hive thing and having to navigate around the prescence of others in his head - well, Sam's pretty damn grateful for Clint's company. It helps, having someone that he already trusted, that he knows didn't come entirely from the symbiote.

It's not like Sam regrets taking the deal, not really - he's taken worse, for the team, for the safety of the world. Both he and Clint have. And he does believe that the team was saved - after all, he and Clint and Barnes were - he's just not sure about the rest of it. This mission is hard to read, and it doesn't much feel like interferring with the two different factions is doing a lot to help save the rest of the universe. And while it ain't like it's the first time that Sam's followed orders he didn't necessarily have the full picture behind, that was the kind of thing he stopped doing after he got out of the military.

So far he just hasn't been involving himself as much as he could, sticking to where he's needed and to the other Hosts. And to catching Clint when he jumps off of rooftops when their mission goes sideways, apparently. He hadn't been able to stop from overextending himself trying to help the victims of the explosion, either, and he's quietly grateful that Clint had been there to half-drag his ass back.

Another thing he's carefully not dealing with right now, the fact that his symbiote ability means he can't use the skills he learned as a pararescueman. Just gives him more reason to try to gain control over them, he guesses.

At least he's not sleep deprived on top of everything else, with he and Clint bunking together and trading shifts. And it means they're there when nightmares happen, their own or from something bleeding through the mental link.

Like now. Or, well, not technically a nightmare, but definitely something that snaps Sam into confused wakefulness, agitated and unsettled. Something feels... right, it feels like he was damn near made whole again, and that registers as something very, very wrong. It takes no time at all for him to brush against Clint's mind, not when he can already feel Clint seeking him out. ]

( What the hell? )

( Clint? )

( Bellamy? ) [ Faint curiosity, the snap of his focus settling scope bright. ] ( Need something? )

( I was just checking in. )

[ sup birbfather ]

( There's new people. Some of them are ours. )

Edited (lol completely forgets what i'm doing) 2016-08-31 21:05 (UTC)

( Yeah, I've met 'em. )

[ sup non-birbson. a pause, then-- ]

( What do you think? )

( It could be worse. )

[ And Bellamy's certain his introduction into the nest was no picnic, considering the frantic bleed of emotion he'd subjected everyone to. ]

( Shiro doesn't want anyone in his head. Neither does the other man. And Rey needs to be kept away from Ren, or they'll kill each other. )

[ It was an experience, alright. ]

( Yeah, 'bout what I gathered. Wouldn't worry over them too much though. ) [ a pause. ] ( Except maybe Rey and Ren. )

( Ren said he'd keep his distance. )

[ But Rey's like Bellamy, too quick to lash out. ]

( The Darkling thinks it's better to let them at each other. But you felt the aftermath of it last time. We'll need to get in between them fast if it happens again. )

[ Steve's way of getting a person's mental attentions remains the same as always: a knock on a door that doesn't physically exist, a sense of question are you busy? ]

[ When Sam comes into the room, he's accompanied by a low wave of exhaustion trickling through their mental link. It lasts only for a moment before he catches himself and pulls it back with the brush of an apology.

Sam drops a plate of pizza down on the desk and thows an apple at Clint’s head, shooting a teasing grin at him even as he rubs his eyes tiredly. ]

No one sleeps around here, man, I'm never gonna touch anyone again.

[ It's effective, and Clint appreciates the politeness. There's soft surprise, and a returned negative, before Clint's mind unspools enough to let Steve in. His mind swims for a brief second, in a burst of image and sound, that seems to imply nothing so much as: Steve. ]

( Hey, what's up? )

[ The exhaustion leaks through their mental link, a boneweary ache that's painfully familiar to Clint. Even before he realizes it, Clint's tuning in to Sam, wondering, aching, silent as soon as that apology sweeps through him and their minds pull apart at the seem.

One hand lifts to snag the apple out of the air, casual, unthinkingly. Sam shoots him a grin, and Clint returns it even as he shines the apple against his shirt. ]

Does this mean you're like an energy drink? [ Okay, maybe it's more like a shit eating grin, now. Mimicking an infomercial guy. ] One shot of Sam an' you'll be on your feet no time!

[ There's a brief impression, something skeptical and yet--]

( There's only so far they can stay. ) [ AKA: Clint's p sure both of them are going to pick at each other into eternity or the next fight. ] ( Won't hurt to have a plan in place.)

[ There's probably something of a danger in how easily he and Clint are attuning to each other, enough to make him grateful that they aren't broodmates. At least he and Clint are choosing this - as much as they can choose it, anyway. They can keep each other out or let each other in, and maybe it's on shaky ground, but right now it's working.

He shakes his head when Clint catches it, murmuring, ] Yeah, yeah, go ahead and show off, circus boy.

[ Despite that Sam'd absolutely assumed that Clint would catch it, seen him in action too much not to - it's the principle of the thing. And he doesn't regret it when Clint ramps up the teasing.

Sam lets out an exaggerated groan, leaning over to give Clint a teasing shove. ]

Fuck you, Barton, I better not hear you telling anyone that's my tagline. And man, I was gonna share some of this warm, delicious, freshly baked pizza, but nah. [ He's just gonna shift a little to block the pizza, now, eyes gleaming and smirk a little challenging. ]

( Just checking in. ) [ He'd spoken with Sam Wilson the other night, broke some of that ice. And - ] ( Heard through the grapevine that one of your group is having trouble with mine. )

[ Ren and Rey.

Sorry about Ren. ]

[ LONGSUFFERING SIGH................ ]

( Yeah, seems like. ) [ He's sorry too, Steeb. ] ( We're keepin' an eye out, just in case. )

[ A danger, maybe. Clint's still not comfortable with the easy push-pull of minds here, doesn't think he ever will be, but there's something easier with Sam. They chose it, in a way, and there's just enough control between the both of them that it never quite reaches the invasiveness that can come with a brood.

Clint takes a bite out of the apple, eyes dancing with humor, even as Clint chews. Circus boy is definitely not the worst he's ever heard -- he's a long way from those years, but it's left its mark. There's a flash of teeth, sharp and gleaming, laughter even as Sam shoves him.

Except wow that's so rude ???

Clint's brows lift in mock outrage, mouth pursed. The apple is still in his hand, even as he points. ]

Hey now, that's just uncalled for. Wars've been started for less, man.

[ Sam gets that, more or less - he's still not all that comfortable with it himself, on top of the fact that he knows Clint's uneasy about it. He'd gotten enough of an impression back when that anxiety spike surged through them and they tangled up a little too much, enough to get a taste of how control felt, accompanied by threads of blue and whispers in his head and heart.

He hasn't asked about it, and he won't. He doesn't want Clint to feel obligated to give any kind of answer, even one that's just don't ask.

For now, Sam grins as he calls Clint circus boy, laughing back at Clint as he takes the opportunity to goof around a little. To throw out a challenge that he knows Clint is gonna rise to - hell, Sam knows he isn't gonna win here, that the pizza's gonna be Clint's before long, but that's not the point. ]

Yeah? [ He reaches behind him with one hand, ripping off a piece of pizza to shove it into his mouth. It's a little too hot, but Sam grins around it anyway. ] You looking to start Pizza War?

( Ren said he'll give me a chance to step in. )

[ Which is something, at least. ]

( And The Darkling doesn't want us intervening. )

( Might be best to let them work it out. But if they're gonna kill each other... )

[ He doesn't need to remind Bellamy how that felt, and Anakin wasn't even a broodmate. ]

( They could kill each other. )

[ Bellamy thinks Ren might have enough self-preservation to stop himself from doing the thing, but Rey? Not yet. ]

( Then we'd have their whole brood to deal with. )

[ One way or another. ]

PRACTICAL if we're gonna win this one, some of us might have to lose it.	RESILIENT do you know what it's like to be unmade?
SKILLED if i miss, it means im just another dude with a bow.	DETERMINED this is monsters and magic and nothing we were ever trained for.

mental link;

late day 011

day: 021.

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day 25; this got so long I'm sorry

day: 026.

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after the vigil and stuff (idk time)

day 26/27 somewhere in there idk

what is time

timelines are for the weak

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A MYSTERYYYYY

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