clint "actual trainwreck" barton (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cognitived) wrote2014-08-29 11:53 pm
cognitived) wrote2014-08-29 11:53 pm
[Sent some time after his public message.]
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
Legolas?
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
Legolas?
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
And here I thought you didn't reuse jokes, Stark.
And here I thought you didn't reuse jokes, Stark.
[Drunk and not using proper punctuation, this time around.]
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
laser light show at 12 o clock
if you haven't noticed
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
laser light show at 12 o clock
if you haven't noticed
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Guessing that's not the normal light show then.
Need me to head over?
Guessing that's not the normal light show then.
Need me to head over?
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Want me to hold down the fort or come with?
Want me to hold down the fort or come with?
[Hello Clint, enjoy this getting sent to your inbox.]
FROM: strider.dirk@cdc.org
Thought you should know this is a thing.
FROM: strider.dirk@cdc.org
Thought you should know this is a thing.
Edited 2014-09-28 18:06 (UTC)
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
What.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Why is that a thing? How is that a thing?
What.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Why is that a thing? How is that a thing?
(1) VOICEMAIL: STARK, ANTHONY
Rockin' Robin.
This is a mandatory Avengers head count. If you didn't get blown up with Ajna--which FYI, is an explicit no-no--say tweet.
Rockin' Robin.
This is a mandatory Avengers head count. If you didn't get blown up with Ajna--which FYI, is an explicit no-no--say tweet.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Tweet, tweet.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Good to see sleeping beauty join the rest of us mere mortals.
Tweet, tweet.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Good to see sleeping beauty join the rest of us mere mortals.
FROM: dagger@cdc.org
Edward Elric's height without his four-inch platform boots on is 5'4". Anyone who isn't an actual child will have a height requirement two inches more than that from now on.
As Benjamin and this loser just learned, don't bet against your instructor.
Edward Elric's height without his four-inch platform boots on is 5'4". Anyone who isn't an actual child will have a height requirement two inches more than that from now on.
As Benjamin and this loser just learned, don't bet against your instructor.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Are you planning to put in some rides or is he just banned in general.
Are you planning to put in some rides or is he just banned in general.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
How do you feel about shooting from the back of a flying dragon?
[ Because here's an ad 4 u ]
How do you feel about shooting from the back of a flying dragon?
[ Because here's an ad 4 u ]
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Dude.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
You bring me the best things, Rogers.
Dude.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
You bring me the best things, Rogers.
Take note of your unit assignment, then come by the training to pick up your new gear.
By the way, those of you who got in really early, I've got a surprise for you.
By the way, those of you who got in really early, I've got a surprise for you.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
New threads? Cool, thanks boss.
New threads? Cool, thanks boss.
FROM: dagger@cdc.org
Finally got these reassigned to new riders. You get one. Give it back when you learn how to fly.
Finally got these reassigned to new riders. You get one. Give it back when you learn how to fly.
FROM: barnes.james@cdc.org
Your intel targets:
NHD-C12-CRN-317 - CRICHTON, JOHN
M02-B25-041 - ERIN
NHD-C12-PLT-146 - PILOT
Your intel targets:
NHD-C12-CRN-317 - CRICHTON, JOHN
M02-B25-041 - ERIN
NHD-C12-PLT-146 - PILOT
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
TO: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org, brink.topher@cdc.org, baku@cdc.org
If you see clothes next to the bunk, just leave them there. We'll be decent, don't worry if you want to join in. Can't say for Jack but I'll have my panties and shirt on at least.
TO: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org, brink.topher@cdc.org, baku@cdc.org
If you see clothes next to the bunk, just leave them there. We'll be decent, don't worry if you want to join in. Can't say for Jack but I'll have my panties and shirt on at least.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
So, potential orgy in your room, good to know.
So, potential orgy in your room, good to know.
Edited (goddamn html) 2015-01-07 07:14 (UTC)
[ This is waiting for you at the door of your room with a note attached addressed to you, just in case. ]
I have six of these and no more room. Please take care of this one.
You can name him.
Sorry.
- Steve
I have six of these and no more room. Please take care of this one.
You can name him.
Sorry.
- Steve
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Why do you have six of these?????
Why do you have six of these?????
[Tony also received a surprise from Steve. And the moment he sees it, he's dragging it over to Clint's room. So here's another one, with Steve's writing crossed out and Tony's revision:]
Got this from Steve because he's an asshole.
Thought you'd appreciate it more. Birds of a feather, and all.
But if you wind up throwing it out, check it's left hand, first.
- Tony
[Remember the hearing aid that Tony was supposed to fix?]
Got this from Steve because he's an asshole.
Thought you'd appreciate it more. Birds of a feather, and all.
But if you wind up throwing it out, check it's left hand, first.
- Tony
[Remember the hearing aid that Tony was supposed to fix?]
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
First, thanks for the aid. Secondly, there are three of these things in my room why would you do this.
First, thanks for the aid. Secondly, there are three of these things in my room why would you do this.
FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org
Looks like we'll be planetside soon. You get a look at the mission brief?
[ He'd seen Tony's reaction on Gliese's transmission of Optimus' demise, but he hadn't seen Clint making any commentary. Maybe he's the smart one of the group. ]
Looks like we'll be planetside soon. You get a look at the mission brief?
[ He'd seen Tony's reaction on Gliese's transmission of Optimus' demise, but he hadn't seen Clint making any commentary. Maybe he's the smart one of the group. ]
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
I saw. What do you think, Cap?
I saw. What do you think, Cap?
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
My room. Need something?
My room. Need something?
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Yeah I found her. [ He may still be hanging around with her. ] Saw Thor too.
Yeah I found her. [ He may still be hanging around with her. ] Saw Thor too.
CALLING: STARK, ANTHONY
Clint.
You need to get down here, as soon as possible.
Clint.
You need to get down here, as soon as possible.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
What happened?
[ DID STARK DIE THIS TIME JFC HE DOESN'T HAVE EXTRA BODY SHEETS ANYMORE. ]
What happened?
[ DID STARK DIE THIS TIME JFC HE DOESN'T HAVE EXTRA BODY SHEETS ANYMORE. ]
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
Fair warning: if you haven't met her yet, we have a new recruit.
[Attached is a link to this file.]
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
She's not the same Black Widow I knew, but in my world she'd worked her way into SHIELD and the Ultimates. And then sold us out to an organization called the Liberators, as revenge for how America put Russia into poverty
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
They had all the superheroes rounded up and were planning a public execution, and takeover of the whole country
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
She revealed the Hulk's identity to the public, pitted you guys against each other, and tricked Tony into trying to marry her so she could use him and his money. She was taken out before she succeeded as far as I know
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
But be careful. Just in case. We might be a million miles away from home but that doesn't mean we can ignore potential dangers within recruits.
Fair warning: if you haven't met her yet, we have a new recruit.
[Attached is a link to this file.]
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
She's not the same Black Widow I knew, but in my world she'd worked her way into SHIELD and the Ultimates. And then sold us out to an organization called the Liberators, as revenge for how America put Russia into poverty
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
They had all the superheroes rounded up and were planning a public execution, and takeover of the whole country
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
She revealed the Hulk's identity to the public, pitted you guys against each other, and tricked Tony into trying to marry her so she could use him and his money. She was taken out before she succeeded as far as I know
FROM: parker.peter@cdc.org
But be careful. Just in case. We might be a million miles away from home but that doesn't mean we can ignore potential dangers within recruits.
[ dang, his cuff's blowing up it's like he's actually popular for once. except this is -- oh, well. ]
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
I know her.
[ clint pauses, briefly, because what the hell. ]
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
She's not the same as your Widow, and she definitely wouldn't marry Stark. But thanks for the warning.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
I know her.
[ clint pauses, briefly, because what the hell. ]
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
She's not the same as your Widow, and she definitely wouldn't marry Stark. But thanks for the warning.
Edited (forgot to edit out a part, whoops) 2015-04-05 05:30 (UTC)
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
One of the other recruits just sent me a message about Agent Romanoff.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
Long story short: it's double-trouble all over again.
[But he knows that Clint and Natasha has history, so if he was the only one that got the message, he feels Clint should know.]
One of the other recruits just sent me a message about Agent Romanoff.
FROM: stark.anthony@cdc.org
Long story short: it's double-trouble all over again.
[But he knows that Clint and Natasha has history, so if he was the only one that got the message, he feels Clint should know.]
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Parker, right? I got one too.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
What'd he tell you?
Parker, right? I got one too.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
What'd he tell you?
FROM: talbot.hanna@cdc.org
I need a favor.
I need a favor.
FROM: barton.clint@cdc.org
Nope. Don't think he does either. You offering?
Nope. Don't think he does either. You offering?
Edited (gently forgets about clint, whoops) 2015-05-11 19:40 (UTC)
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